Rule's of Life 52-54

Rule of Life #52:  Do not put your daughter in bed with you to "cuddle" 30 seconds before she plans on throwing up on you, herself, and the bed.

Rule of Life #53:  Do not buy a two story house with carpeted stairs. 

Rule of Life #54:  Do not sleep with a loud fan so that you cannot hear your son calling for you. When you do not answer he will proceed to throw up all over his room and down the stairs, skillfully making sure to hit each step, as he tries to get to you at 2 am. 

Rule of Life #54(a):  Your elderly dog does not qualify as "exceptionally talented" just because she can pee on each of your carpeted stairs while walking down said stairs. (I am horrified yet impressed. This could be a new example of "shock and awe".)

Welcome to my life since Friday.